Dropping off prints at my old Post Office:

Clerk: Air Mail? Me: Yes, please. Clerk: Need stamps? Me: Not today, thanks. Clerk: Okay that’ll be $x.xx. Me: Here ya go. Clerk: Have a good day Me: Thanks, you too.

Dropping off prints at my NEW Post Office (word for word):

Me: Hi, I’d like to send this International Air Mail. Clerk: Air Mail? Me: Yes, please. Clerk: Any hazardous materials, liquids, weapons of any kind? Me: No. Clerk: What are you sending? Me: Prints. I only ship prints. Clerk: How many prints Me: Umm . . . I think this particular shipment has two. Two prints Clerk: (begins writing on my customs form) That’s . . . 2 . . . prints. Wrong date. Me: Excuse me? Clerk: This form has yesterdays date on it. Me: Oh . . . I filled it out last ni . . . Clerk: (writes) That’s . . . 11 . . . TEN . . . 06 (slowly scans the rest of my form) Clerk: Are these prints for sale? Me: Yes. Clerk: (writes some more) You need to write “merchandise” here where it says contents. Me: I checked the “other” box there is no “merchandise” box to check. Clerk: No, you need to write “merchandise” next to the box that says “other” Me: (processing this for a bit) I’ve sent out hundreds of these and I’ve never had to write “merchandise” next to the “other” box (where there is no space to write “merchandise” anyway). If there were a box labeled “merchandise” I would check it, but there isn’t. Only “other”. So that’s what I checked. Clerk: (no reply, types) Clerk: (about to put the postage on the package) Why do you have a “Fragile” sticker on the box? Is it fragile? Me: They’re prints. Clerk: Why do you need a fragile sticker if they are only prints? (WITH A #@!*ING SUSPICIOUS SIDEWAYS GLANCE!!) Me: (trying to keep it together) They’re pa-per, they may get bent. Clerk: We have “Do Not Bend” stickers, y’know? Me: Okay? Clerk: Need stamps? Me: sigh . . . no. Clerk: Okay that’ll be $x.xx. Me: (beaten) here. Clerk: Have a good day. Me: yeah (walking out with a black cloud over my head)