RE: Let’s do some business!

Dear G.W.:

I’d like to throw my name in the hat to run the multiple U.S. Ports that were so recently being considered by the folks in Dubai. I bring many qualifications to the table, for example, I currently run a business that is very similar to running international port commerce and logistics on which global economies rely - I sell artist prints, and have been successfully in business for FOUR months!

Our new company Thumbtack Press Corp: Affordable Prints and World Port Authorities Inc. (our logo needs work, I know) is owned by a proud American, and I have never knowingly done any business dealing with fundimentalist anti-american terrorists. I can also tell you that I am staunchly against suicide bombing, so rest assured I will hire none.

Here’s the best part! I will operate and manage your ports for the BARGAIN BASEMENT PRICE of $1 billion dollars! That’s not even annually, just a flat, one-time-payment of 1 bill and you’ve got me! Can you imagine the savings? What’s Halliburton bidding, think about it. (Severance/termination fees in the amount of $500M - plus perks - shall and will be submitted to TPCAPWPA in the event of gross mismanagement, incompetence, etc., etc.)

Let’s run this by Condi - give me a call when you can.

Tony President and CEO Thumbtack Press Corp: Affordable Prints and World Port Authorities Inc.

P.S. How’s this for a tag line? “TPCAPWPA. We’ll run your U.S. Ports and beautify your walls! And we don’t condone or hire suicide bombers” . . . too long?

cc Congress